My Writing

Please read and critique.


Models, Photoshop, Airbrushing. These are just some of the words that come to mind when I see an advertisement. No matter how much we as a society try, there is no way one can escape the invasion of media advertisements that have become ingrained in our modern culture. The worst of these are the advertisements we see on television and in magazines.

Eating disorders are by large the most dangerous consequence of these media messages, by causing society to want to mimic these thin and attractive yet unrealistic idols the media portrays as real life, whereas in fact they have been heavily manipulated with photo editing techniques. A study of 4294 television networks in America found that 1 in every 3.8 commercials displayed on the network sent out some form of "attractiveness message" as cited in Myers et al. This is a major concern for parents and guardians of children who watch an average for 3-4 hours of television every day as these adverts send out messages that say these children are imperfect and need to change who they are to be accepted into their society. A study done in 1991 found that 81 percent of 10 year-olds are afraid to be fat, this can have both positive and negative connotations, it is positive as it obviously lowers the obesity rate in today's children, but for all the wrong reasons. Children are not scared of being fat because of the massive health risks associated with obesity, but for their own self image and the image their peers have of them which has an extremely negative effect on the mental wellbeing of our children, which can in extreme cases result in the child needing psychological help, costing the country millions of dollars annually. Now, nearly 20 years later not much has changed, if anything the effects of media have increased substantially over time as the new generation see their parents, the original mass media generation, being influenced by these media messages.

The media reflects a large or even slight curvy figure in females as a bad thing, showing that "conformity is king" and being an individual is a crime. A lot of this has caused many teenagers to strive for the ideal body shape, making them unhappy with their current body shape and crave to change it, often resulting in irreversible damage to their bodies and psychological wounds that will never heal such as dangerous conditions like Depression, Anorexia and Bulimia. Anorexia and Bulimia are both eating disorders usually not seen without the other, and are extremely dangerous diseases, resulting in chronic malnourishment, even sometimes resulting in death due to the lack of nutrient intake caused either consciously or subconsciously by either of the diseases, yet again costing the country's medical system massive amounts of money to support these problemed teens

Music videos are without doubt, one of the most common media influences teenagers of today enjoy watching. The messages these videos put out are not only the image of attractive women with a desirable figure, but the image of a man surrounded by these perfect women mostly in revealing lingerie, dancing in a seductive way. What kind of message is this sending out to the youth of today? That to be loved, women have to let men have control over them and their bodies, that men get to sleep around and have whoever they want. There has already been an increase of teen pregnancy in recent years; this could be the result of media messages. This is an extreme example of the moral decay of society that our ancestors worried about so much, but were idly dismissed as "old people", and now society is paying the price.

This is not what we want teenagers and children thinking, thinking that they must have the perfect body shape, plastered on plastic faces and lack of clothing to be loved and wanted. Despite our inability to control what the media shows us, we have the power as a society to control how it effects us.

Nice One Shonny

I got an excellence for it.

Choice You Should Help Me With My English

It'd help if I knew who you were

LVL 3 English Creative Writing - Merit


The sun slowly set. The birds stopped whistling, and the crickets started to chirp. The faint chill of night was coming in as a blanket of ebony and stars engulfed the sun-kissed summer sky. Children that were playing on the street earlier were now being put into bed, and adults discussed their day while watching TV.

Among these children was twelve year old, Epithphone. She was a beautiful young woman. The moon illuminated her midnight black hair framing her pale face as she slept. When Epithphone is awake, she’s just like every other girl; playful, active, a good wholesome girl. However, while she’s asleep, she is someone different, her abusive past comes out of her subconscious, and tonight would be no different.

Epithphone’s eyes began to move behind her eyelids as she entered REM sleep, and she began to get restless. Her hands shook, and clasped tightly around her blankets. A cold sweat formed, and she tossed and turned as she dreamt about her past.

A six year old Epithphone clung her fluro-orange coloured oversized, over stuffed jacket close to her. From a distance, she looked like a poofy road cone. Her older sister always made her wear the jacket to and from school, so she could be easily seen and found. Epithphone sniffed, as the early winter cold bit at her sun-kissed skin.

A bright blue station wagon pulled alongside her as she walked. Epithphone wasn’t allowed to talk to strangers, but she knew this man. He was at her home sometimes, most of the time it was before her daddy got home from work. The man was a good friend of her mums.

Epithphone tenderly climbed into the car, dropping her bag by her feet. The man started to drive on, towards her house. She sat there calmly talking to the man about school, and all her friends. She wasn’t paying any attention to where she was going.

As they pulled to a stop, Epithphone looked around. They were in the car park to the forest walkabout that was nearby her place, only about two blocks away she guessed. Epithphone started to tell him how to get back to her place, thinking he must have gotten lost. He just looked at her a pulled a knife from his pocket.

The dream skipped. Epithphone sat upon her older sister’s lap, being held closely. Still wearing her jacket, now torn, with stuffing coming out of it. Her arm lightly bleeding through the stitches still. She really wanted to see her mum, but her mum couldn’t even look at her, she didn’t want to be near her. Her mum had booked into a hotel with her daddy for the night, left Epithphone and her older sister at home, and refused to go home.

Epithphone slowly opened her icy blue eyes to the morning sun that shined through the cracks in the curtains. She yawned, rubbing her hands on her eyes. A cold liquid rubbed off her hands and onto her soft skin. She blinked, adjusting her eyes to the morning.

Looking down she saw red. Everywhere. Tears stung at her eyes, as realisation hit her. The red blood trailed down her snow white skin of her bone thin arms. She stood, her pyjamas clung to her body, soaked with blood. Shakily she walked to her room, the bed was made, and everything was in place, except a family picture. It lay on the floor, smashed.

Quickly, she ran to her parents’ room, and saw the worst. Her mum lay on the floor, her chest cavity torn open and heart stabbed with a piece from what looked like to be the picture frame. Epithphone kneeled next to her mother, clasping her hand tightly, as tears washed the blood of her face.

As Epithphone kneeled, she saw a figure hanging off the side of the bed. There, her daddy lay; his mouth gaped open. She hugged him tightly to her, and cried even harder. The cotton from his throat dislodged from the sudden movement, and lolled out onto the floor. Epithphone jumped from the sudden movement, pulling her daddy off the bed, landing onto the floor with a thud.

Footstep sounded from down the hall. Epithphone froze. She backed up against the window, causing the blinds to open, and the light to shine in; the blood glistened in the sun. As she looked up, she saw her sister, standing at the door. Her sister looked down at the floor.
And screamed.

Its Kagan Shonny

Lol, soz. I thought you were "King of Darkness" Lol

One more chance

I don't know what to do
All I can think about is you
I can't get you off my mind
and leave what we had behind
How you moved on so easily
to me, it's still a mystery
Just one more chance is all I ask
I can show you we can last
Forget the other chick, she ain't worth you
I'll be everything you need, and more too
So all I ask is for one more chance
Please leave the old me, behind in the past

Cupids Arrow

My love for you knows no limits
With you I will have no secrets
If you take me back, I will show
That my love for you is stronger than cupids arrow

Now you're gone

When you left me, I didn't know what to do
I thought I could never live without you
Your words of the past have given me strength to stand
But I still want you here, holding my hand

Since you have gone, a lot has seemed to change
But there are things that still remain the same
I still love you more than anything
and knowing I hurt you, still causes me pain
I'd love to see your smiling face
look upon the man, I'm trying to chase
You are the reason my heart still beats
Maybe one day, it will be yours to keep
But for now, I'll just keep trying
And wipe away these tears, that I've been crying.

Alone

You left me alone, in this cold dark place
Broken hearted, tears down my face
You left me alone, in this cold dark room
Broken hearted, life filled with gloom

You left me alone, but I forgive you
For if I was you, I'd leave me tooY
ou left me alone, but I'll survive
For to earn back your love, I will strive.

Home

I'm sick of used, I don't like it one bit
I can't do it anymore, maybe I should quit
I hate feeling like this, but I can't stand being alone
So for now I'll just sit here, in the dark pit, I call home...

You are

You are my angel, shining bright
in the darkness, you give me light
You are my knight, in shining armor
with you around I couldn't feel safer
You are my baby, laying in my arms
keeping you safe from any harms
You are my daddy, watching over me
this my heart, and here is the key

Heart

Theres a warm place inside, it is a heart
A difficult place to enter, cold from the start
If you are so lucky, to enter this place
Treat it with care, as it will start to race
If you mistreat it, it will start to break
And for it to heal, an eturnity it will take
So take my heart, treat it with care
As I take yours, and hold it near

Forgive me

I didn't know what to do at first, the pain I couldn't take
I just hope I can make it up to you and that it's not to late
I'm sorry for all the pain I caused, I really didn't mean to hurt you
I was just so lost and didn't know what to do
Please forgive me, I hope you haven't changed
And please forgive this poem, I know it's awfully lame

Forever

When I first met you, I didn't know what to do
I thought you were a miracle, a dream come true
Now I see that we're meant to be
Forever together, just you and me

Why?

Why do I miss you when you're not there
Why do I love you, even if you're not here
Why can't I forget you, no matter how hard I try
Why can't I turn away and wave goodbye.

I love

I love you more than anything
the light of the sun
the smell of spring
I love you more than anyone
my family, my friends
even my mum
I love you more with each day
I don't know why
just don't go away

Waiting for you

I daydream to be with you
dreaming of the day you say
I love you too
I wish upon the stars for you
and await the day
for my wish to come true

Gone

you took my heart and tore it in two
and yet I still can't live without you
I want you so much, but now you're gone
perhaps I should give up, and just move on...

Love

The love I feel
Is so real
and that's not going to change
The love I share
Is always there
and that will always remain

Why Bother?

Why bother, when I know you don't care
Why bother, when I know you're not there
Why bother, when I know I don't matter
Why bother, when I know I'm just the latter

Smile

I want to be the one to make you happy
I want to be the one to make you smile
I can be the one to make you happy
Even if it takes a while.

Time:

Time may pass
Things may change
But my love will last
My feelings remain